blufemmedic: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. So that’s why I keep trying to sneak into people’s houses.
How to break up with someone
You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
eracist: I hate when people transfer to my school and become popular no that’s bullshit I’ve been here for 12 years screw u
vardaesque: 420stuck: when you shake laminated paper and it does the thing fwuuubufbuwbfwubfufbwufbuwbuuuBUWBUBHUFUFBUWBUFBUB
7th Grade me: I will never smoke weed in my life
12th grade me: Bruh
am i the only one that yells “NO” when i drop my food
Surprisingly, perfectionists are often procrastinators, as they can tend to think “I don’t have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly now, so I won’t do it at all.”
lovelydyedlocks: That internal struggle between wanting to grow your hair out and also wanting to chop it all off.
so it was recently my..... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: sammysamwinchester: so it was recently my language arts teacher’s birthday, and one of his students brought him a cardboard cutout of legolas that now just sits in various places in our classroom, like today This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
So this girl gave attitude to my teacher today
Girl: *Rolls eyes*
Teacher: Yeah keep rolling your eyes, you might find a brain back there.
momjew: you must have been born on the highway cuz thats where most accidents happen
harrysgettinhead: “you shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night” no actually people shouldn’t fucking attack other people at any time of day
Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.
Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM
Plato: *high fives Socrates*
Anonymous asked: Do you smoke?
Anonymous asked: I'm sorry